Extra: "The Cost of Lost Trust: Can We Recover It?"

Stephen M.R. Covey, son of the famous author, Stephen Covey (The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People), has written his own book entitled The Speed of Trust. It has as its core idea that we establish trust with people through moral integrity and competence (doing well what we say we will do). He applies that to family life, business marketing and a host of other things. Warren Bennis (Leadership), Daniel Goleman (Emotional Intelligence) and James O’Toole have recently published a book entitled, Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor. I was taught leadership in an atmosphere where trust was assumed until it was betrayed. With widespread CNN treatment of breach of trust by nearly every public institution, all institutions (government, schools and universities, private foundations, businesses, service organizations and maybe, most of all, churches) are being pushed by their participants and their communities to prove they are trustworthy and transparent. We have a "black eye" partly of our own making and partly given us by other groups.

Part of that I regret, because there must be some level of assumed trust in order for a relationship to begin and for true progress to happen. That is why I take the vulnerable step of choosing to trust first and risk disappointment, rather than wait to have someone earn my trust. But there is another problem in behind this. The requirement that any human being be absolutely trustworthy is unreasonable. Our integrity will always be stressed by what remains of our selfishness and our competence will never be total. Authentic relationship requires that I place trust in those who are, in an absolute sense, untrustworthy. Because this is true, every healthy organization has a set of checks and balances. But the mistrust in society is so widespread that you not only have to earn trust in general, you have to earn the trust of each individual involved (who each have different views and standards about moral integrity and practical competence). It is no wonder that nearly every institution I know of is spending nearly as much time and money proving it is trustworthy as it is doing its main work.

Furthermore, many of us have grown up to believe that once trust is betrayed, it is nigh impossible to have it restored. If absolute trustworthiness is not obtainable in this life (either in integrity or competence) and is unable to be restored when lost, we have quite a mess on our hands. And what constitutes sufficient trust for people to move forward together – legal binding documents with powerful attorneys to enforce them, oversight groups that make people behave in a trustworthy manner (e.g. doctors and hospitals being monitored and controlled by government agencies), insurance policies that protect both the ones who have trust betrayed and those who will be accused of betrayal, etc, etc?

I don’t want us to ignore the huge betrayals that have happened all around us. And my doctrine of personal sin and sin of groups and systems understands that corruption and secrecy abound between human beings…and always will. From Madoff to insider trading, to doping in sports, to sexual sin by clergy and educators, to manipulated information from government, to dishonesty in banking, to widespread marital unfaithfulness, the case for mistrust is enormously compelling. But the question remains of whether these protective measures will create the kind of atmosphere that allows for healthy relationships and effective ministry.

Yes, let’s take our humanness seriously and put in necessary checks and balances that take our imperfect integrity and our limited competence into account. I also believe that we must meet our mistrusting society where it is and do the things necessary that cultivate an atmosphere where trust can grow. But we dare not let our accumulated mistrust shape the rest of our relationships and our ministries – or our entire lives for that matter. When my trust has been betrayed, I have had to come to a point of choice. I must determine what boundaries need to be set in order for me to relate in that situation and not be so easily hurt or duped. But having done that, the question of reconciliation and forgiveness comes marching to the front. Will I forgive those who have betrayed my trust, knowing that there is a real chance they will? Will those whose trust I have betrayed forgive me, knowing that I could mess up again? The words of Jesus come to mind, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” He did so, knowing they would mess up again. Christ does the same for you and me. Who (or even what groups or nations) will forgive and let go of the pain and the prison it creates in them? Who will take the risk and trust again, thereby making renewed and even greater love and relationship possible? This is the gospel’s challenge to our insecure and mistrusting hearts individually, as families, as groups, as churches, as generations, and as society as a whole. Slavery to our mistrust or liberation through reconciliation, which will it be? And who said the gospel isn’t relevant.