Love Thy Neighbor V

Matthew 5:27-37

Verses 27-32 are commentary on the 7th commandment, "Thou shall not commit adultery." It's important to remember the angle for which Jesus is teaching. He is not trying to give a doctrinal position on divorce, but rather inviting people to go beyond the legalistic perspectives of the Pharisees. Those of us with a little history may remember the famous Playboy magazine article interviewing President Jimmy Carter, where he admitted to lusting in his heart. By appealing to unfaithfulness of heart, Jesus calls us to recognize that sexual temptation is a universal part of being human. In the context of marriage, it is part of the dance of love. That means all of us are vulnerable to the dark side of this desire. Jesus uses hyperbole to describe the discipline necessary to combat temptation to sexual unfaithfulness. Our whole culture invites us to play at the edge of unfaithfulness in what we think about, watch on television and in the movies, and in the things we wear and even in inapporpriate touch. Jesus counters that we need to stay as far from the edge as possible and meet the temptation with quick and firm boundaries.

Concerning adultery and divorce in verses 31-32, there has been much misunderstanding. The background for Jesus' words is the Old Testament rooted practice, in Deuteronomy 24:1-14, of granting a certificate of divorce(only for men) against women who did not meet the man's expectations. In the time of Jesus, divorces were granted for the smallest offenses, including failure to make meals to the husband's satisfaction. The "quickie divorce" is not new. Further discussion of this issue is found in Matthew 19:3-12. Shall we assume from this passage and the one in chapter 19 that spouses must stay in a marriage where there is abuse or neglect, that the only grounds for divorce is infidelity? I think this misreads Jesus' intent. He was countering quickie divorce and the great damage that is does despite how quickly it can be done. Remember that the Christian priority is for reconciliation. But I don't believe that Jesus was encouraging staying in a marriage that is abusive or neglectful. He is saying that divorce should be an act of last resort.

I will never forget the couple who came to me wanting to get married (this was when I was a Director of Music and Singles Ministries). He had not been married, but the woman was married twice before. The woman's first husband was abusive and the second abandoned her. The man asked me about verse 32 and whether they would be guilty of adultery when they married. I then asked him, "Has she dealt with the issues that brought about the demise of her other marriages? The behavior of her husbands was horrible, but has she healed from the hurt and worked on any issues of forgiveness?" He said, "Yes, she has." I invited them to talk with one of the pastors about the issue (which they later did) and said, "This teaching of Jesus does not mean that people should be trapped in the mistakes of their past. Forgiveness and the possibility of new beginnings is a bigger principle." This year, these dear friends are celebrating 28 years of marriage and the joy of being grandparents. The woman has a man who loves her with Christian love and she enjoys marriage as it was intended to be. If that isn't a picture of redemption, I don't know what is. Divorce is a tragedy and should never be done quickly, lightly or in the heat of conflict. But there is life after divorce and there is grace that restores and provides new beginnings.

Verses 33-37 we dealt with earlier in James' discussion on the subject of oaths. So I want to simply say that "loving your neighbor" involves establishing trust in our relationships. How much do people trust you, really? This week's "Extra" will talk about Trust and what the loss of it has cost us. It will appear here on Sunday.

I John 4:1-21

John now returns to his thoughtline from chapter 2:18ff. Just because something is communicated persuasively and sincerely does not make it true. The reason we have our creeds and even why the Bible's books were closed was because there were many false sources out there. The Da Vinci Code, a fictional work, makes use of sources deemed long ago to be pseudapigraha ("false writings"). In fact, if a writing that claimed to be of God said, "This is the only reliable and true testimony of Jesus Christ," you knew it was false. There were many competing religious ideologies with the Christian faith during its early development and it threatened the very existence of some of the churches. You find that in Galatians and Colossians with Paul and certainly in several of the seven churches in the book of Revelation. John tells his readers,"Test the spirits." If people deny that Christ came to earth as a human being, they are false teachers and should be rejected. If they deny that Jesus Christ is the Son of God or that Jesus had a wife and kids, they should be rejected. If people create scenarios about Christ and are not believers who are led by the Spirit, they may provide interesting or provocative information, but they lack the life of Christ and thus have no authority in what they say.

Like a tennis match, John, beginning in verse 7,returns to his main topic, loving each other. These first six verses (7-12) bring the whole letter together in a way so powerful that we should all memorize them. Notice the basic line of writing: 1) Love comes from God; 2) those who love are born of God and know God; 3) God is love; 4) God demonstrated his love in sending Jesus; 5) Divine love has taken the initiative, and 6) When we love, God lives in us and His love becomes complete in us. Sometimes, we get so complicated about what we believe and struggle so much with difficult decisions that we forget the simplicity of the gospel and why Jesus came. This passage centers us, and John just builds from here.

Further discussion follows about "knowing" that God lives in us. Again, notice that there is no earth-shaking experience required here. We believe and trust, for God's love is reliable.

In verse 17, John connects God's love with Christ's coming and how it gives us confidence in the final judgment. Verse 18 is powerful for our relationship with God and with each other:

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."

John's language is dramatic. Just as Jesus cast out demons from hurting people, so perfect love casts out fear. We live in a fear-driven society. The choice to love and put aside fear and mistrust is both risky and liberating. In the discussion of trust on Sunday's blog, I will talk about the necessity of forgiveness and choosing to trust again. We really do have to decide how big a role we want fear and mistrust to have in our lives. It means risking that we will be hurt again. Do we dare?

John concludes with lines that remind us so much of James. Our love for God must show in our love for those around us. Otherwise, we are just lying to ourselves, to God and to the world around us. Is your faith honest? Does your love for Christ show for those around you and is that love deepening and broadening? Or has your relationship with Christ gone dormant? We will finish I John tomorrow. Until then, keep on loving as Christ has loved you. There is nothing more challenging or world-changing.